Ooooooooooooh Baby! You can hear from others how 'life changing' and exciting having a baby is...it's not until I actually had the baby that I realize nothing around me would ever be the same...Not even flowers smell the same! It's a mind altering, world dominating experience. UNREAL. Our son was born in February. He made a grand entrance as I knew he would. A mothers intuition runs deep, and starts early !! I 'knew' from day one I wouldnt need to go through classes on natural child birth. If there is something in life I absolutely do not, will not, or can not see myself doing then the chances it has ever or will ever occur is slim to NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! That's just how it's been for me...I didnt necessarily 'know' how or why I felt that way but I had a pretty good feeling that meant a C-section was going to be thrown my way. That, however, did not stop me at the time from being completely terrified or in denial of the C-section. After 27 some odd hours of trying to get him here naturally it was the only solution. My baby's cord was around his neck and he wasn't going to make it here on his own. He arrived three weeks early. I had just had two baby showers, one was that Sunday night. I told all the girls I hadn't even packed my bags for the hospital yet. That night there was a strong urgency to get those packed! As in, drop everything get the bags and get them filled with exactly what the baby and I will need for our glorious vacation away from home.. (an hour later bags were packed and ready to go!) ... At 3 a.m. I woke up to my water breaking. TRIPPY experience! The rest is just what it is! An amazing life experience I hope to never forget, and the grand entrance of what I as a mom consider the COOLEST baby on the block !! The first few weeks home were 'wall eyed'. Up around the clock, no sleep, not much food, no sleep, changing diapers, no sleep... no sleep, no sleep, no sleep ! And um, some of the 'after baby' experiences?? The phrase WTF comes to mind, but in efforts to keep this G rated I will say this: What in the world ! and WHY didn't any of you that went on and on about telling me stories and baby happenings... WHY didnt you warn me about that jazz ! Enough said, moving on.
I was able to stay home with Kellen for the first 8 weeks. That also happened to be the exact amount of time I needed to recover... worked out nicely. I did manage to take many many pictures. However, alllllll the research and planning and preparing I had done in order to ensure I had the most fabulous baby portraits went out the window when the exhaustion of it all set in. In fact, four months later I am still attempting to regain even an ounce, a smidge, ANY form of energy I can muster and it's really feeling like an impossible task. Clearly not all women have such a hard time recouping from all of this.. Heidi Klum, kiss it! Seriously how that woman manages to crank out kids left and right and be back on a run way in hours is beyond my comprehension, and i'm 75% happy for her and only 25% jealous.. #$%^&*()!@ moving on-
When you go from being a newly wed couple who've just realized in the last few years how much they both love to travel, to deciding you both want to have a baby and start a family, it tends to confuse your mind just a tad... we want to see the world! We've made several trips to various places and realized we've only just began our life journeys. In my mind we would just tote a baby right along..piece of cake... Negatory! Not for now anyways, the mother hen has kicked in and I am paranoid and scared at every second of every day for his safety and well being. The idea of trapesin through Europe with him unnerves me. Maybe as he gets a little older I will lighten up, We will see. I'd love for him to experience traveling, exploring the world, do fascinating things at early ages, be adventurous...I just dont know if I can let him! God blessed me with this child. He took my heart and placed it in this tiny little baby. I will fret and worry about him for all of my days, and yet somehow still feel like this is the greatest thing that has EVER happened to me... welcome to motherhood... sigh
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